Sunday, March 22, 2020

Cure for Coronabeervirus Has Been Found

The Dawn of a New Virus-Free World

A number of leading scientists at the most prestigious Water Strand University have just announced the discovery of a miraculous cure for the Coronabeervirus:  Water.   Specifically, a total of 8  12-ounce glasses of water for an entire day on an empty stomach. 

During that period of time, all those who are infected with this deadly virus are advised to practice Social Distancing and to refrain from participating in meetings or videoconferences scheduled to last for more than 10 minutes.

Please note that the foregoing recommendation does not apply to those who are wearing very shiny white or black leather pants or those who have a good supply of adult diapers.   According to the official spokesman for Deep Ends, "We have an unlimited supply of diapers and there is absolutely no risk of diaper shortages due to hoarding.  In fact, we not only welcome but also embrace everyone who feels the need to hoard during one of the most trying times in the history of mankind."

According to a number of reliable and anonymous sources, an effort is now underway in order to nominate Dr. Drunkenstupor and Dr. Pissingfountain for a Nobel Prize in medicine in recognition of their important contribution to the discovery of this cure.

About Author:  It should be obvious to anyone not living under a rock that the author Lord DeBeer is a fictional character and that this article is a satire meant to illustrate the current plague of insanity which has managed to transform ordinary individuals into a bunch of fearful and obedient children.